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Strip Mall Seizures is one of those band it seems like I’ve loved forever. Maybe it’s just how timeless they sound; thrashed-out trashed-out art punk never goes out of style, so when I hear that they’ve released a new album I get excited. I get real excited, son, and you should be too. These kids have been releasing some of the best punk tunes for over a decade in various bands, and with every release I’m blown away. I’ll Never Give Up On You picks up where 2008’s Secret To Financial Freedom left off but amps up the cabaret vitriol. Trve mutant spirit. Savage love. Gotta have it.

MP3:

Advertising Is Murder

REX GLORIAE

Oh hey. It’s me, The Cool Bro. Finally back in Brooklyn and enjoying basically everything. USA #1. One of my main menu choices right now is the mutant sounds of LA’s Pet Sex (Rex) (formerly Marfa & Ne-af,) two of my favorite Cali people who I’ve been wanting music from for a while now. Pure weirdo pop, syntho-monsterchistic jams to get the mental blood flowing down neurodemonic pathways. Heavy petting.

MP3s:

Bluebird

DO NOT SIT ON FENCE

MAN AS GOD

For sheer art weirdness, nothing beats Tonetta. This Toronto weirdo has been releasing some of the best videos on Youtube for several years, but he’s been creating his blend of bizarrely erotic mutant lo-fi minimal for 26 years. He’s also recently put together a live band so that you can experience his visions in 3D:

"Since Tonetta does not currently himself appear live he has personally requested that a band be put together to perform as him. This is not an imposter or a covers band. This is the Tonetta live experience."

This is true art, freak music for monster people and not to be missed. Watch his videos and get converted.

MP3:

Drugs Drugs Drugs




Tonetta’s first LP 777 is out now on Black Tent Press. Get it.

HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE VISIONS

It’s not hard for me to tell when mutants are at play; we know our own. My attraction to Telepathik Friend was inevitable, really. Pure okkvlt radiation leaking out of Austin, Texas is bound to be noticed sooner or later. One day I just woke up and my skin had turned into a drug rug. My hands are now pan pipes, and my hair is an infinite forest of sticky Purple Haze. It’s made life on a day-to-day basis very difficult; in fact you may be wondering how I’m even typing with my pipe-fingers. The truth is I’ve become so mutated that I’ve evolved the ability to communicate via computer keyboard using only my mind and a short, slightly bendy rod. I can’t promise you the same results, but I guarantee a heady listening experience.

MP3s:

Turn On The Resonator

Turn Off The Resonator



Their CD Turn On The Resonator! is available via their Space. Space is the place. God it? Get it.

SPIRIT VISIONS

Heard recently that Haunted Fucking are totally split, never to make music again. I consider that information to be garbage, as in total shit news. I mean okay, maybe they’re busy; being the two people behind Upset The Rhythm has gotta be pretty time-consuming, but take like twenty minutes, put a tape recorder on the kitchen table and ghost the fuck out. Damn. Pretty sure everything they put out is gone forever, but if you manage to find some forgotten remainders (might try contacting them directly, sweet-talkin’ never killed a man) then snatch them up; each cassette is a throbbing hunk of clattering space-age Red Indian fuckery with enough audio hallucinogens to knock down a Tyrannosaurus.

MP3s:

Saturday

We Were Lying Down

All Its Teeth Fell Out and This Had Nothing to Do with Telling the Truth Whatsoever

I’m Feelin’ Outta Control

FREE GLEE

Ever want to chop up Miley Cyrus? Then SHAME ON YOU for being behind the times; the ultimate form of ownage is being a really kind person ironically. Sickboy, however, has acted out his fantasies musically and given us chopped-up Radio Disney delights. Cock Rock Disco, home to such faves as Nero’s Day At Disneyland and Duran Duran Duran, is offering this slice of brilliance totally free. Download it while syncing iCarly’s beautiful smiles up with your strobelight wall.

TEAR IT DOWN

Some of my best friends are monsters. Douglas is a kid I’ve known for about five years now. After cutting his teeth as a bass player and experimenting with the industrial noise of Elephant Skull, he began making thrashy electropunk tunes under the name BIRTH!, and he’s only been getting stronger. Like some deadly combination of Test Dept and Dandi Wind, he delivers shrieked vocals and war-whoops over brutal analogue electronic beats. Between his other musical duties in Bestial Mouths and Realicide, he tours and plays punishingly energetic shows, having abandoned his apartment and job for the sounds he loves. This kid is the fucking essence of mutant punk; violent, ever-evolving, and uncompromising.

MP3s:

Value

Arms Crossed



BIRTH!’s debut album I Will is out February 8th on Realicide Youth Records. Get it.

OTTER DANCE

Apologies for the lack of updates; I’m battling a cold and chugging vitamins. Basically had to write because Belgian synth monster Kania Tieffer recently put some new tunes up and they’re really really good. One is about being old, which I can’t relate to at all because I’m a hot ‘n’ horny teen. The other, however, is about DANCING which is something I think we all like to do am I right. Time to go nap, enjoy this squinky smooshy mutant wave number!

MP3:

Soca Dance

WIZ KIDS

The other day Brian mentioned that Gang Wizard are recording new material. I just wanted to share this so your brain boner becomes as big as mine at the thought of this. I haven’t seen this band in a very long time and I still remember sniffing a bit when my GW shirt finally deteriorated to the point of being unwearable, which for me means it was basically a 2x5 inch piece of cloth (I’m actually only 6 inches tall; oooo big shock NOT).

Pic is by Lars, by the way; check out his many other cool pics of many other cool bands.

GD STFF

My friend Rich hooked me up with some stuff by a Brooklyn boy-girl group making fuzzed-out rap-tinged electro. Nope, not Sleigh Bells, these guys predate them but you can’t always catch everything when it first hits. MKNG FRNDZ may not have the pop pizazz that those dudes have, but they do deliver a healthy dose of slammin’ lo-fi queercore. FUN FACT! The guy is named Daniel, which is my name, and he was interviewed by BUTT Magazine, which I never was. I have a lot of things to say about butts…..

MP3s:

Don’t Make Me Cry

Reject Me

Sexual Forestz

АЛИЕН ЮНКЯРД МУСИЦ

Sometimes a band contacts me online and it takes about two seconds for me to decide that I love them. Such is the case with Asian Woman On The Telephone, a Moscow-based art/noise group with a passion for homemade costumes and angular sonic meanderings. Looking like junkyard aliens, the quartet rattle and scrape and squawk about stage, delivering snippets of vocals possibly at random. As someone whose grasp of Russian is limited to a few cusses and basic nouns, I can’t even tell if it’s gibberish or prophecy. All I know is, it’s one hell of a captivating experience.

MP3s:

That Very Bass

Young Cutting Teeth

AWOTT have a new album coming out in January on Warded Halls. Get it, and check out their blog for some more awesome videos as well!

EARLY CHRISTMAS

Yeah, I know I’m a little behind on Sleigh Bells, but I’ve also been drunk + stoned off my gourd for the last four days at CMJ, so bear with me. Besides, how can I not post about a lo-fi power pop hip-hop group? The new Brooklyn duo have been producing crazy buzz for the last few days, and for good reason. I caught the tail-end of their set on Friday and was blown away by how strong vocalist Alexis’ stage presence was. If this doesn’t blow up, I’ll eat my hat. *points at sombrero made of tortilla chips*

MP3s:

A/B Machines

Ring Ring

Beach Girls

Crown On The Ground

THE HOLE ENCHILADA

When I toured the West Coast last year with my band, the show we were looking forward to playing more than anything was the one with Strip Mall Seizures. After hours of driving, we arrived in Oakland and walked into the massive anarcho house where the show was going to be. Wandering into the back yard, we can upon a large man with boobs digging in the dirt. He handed us shovels and asked us to help. This is how I met Levi, ex-member of the brilliant Coughs and the monster behind Carreza. Eventually we’d dug a hole large enough that Levi was up to his chest in the ground, and to open what was to be the best show we’d ever played (including dogs on trampolines and a beer can easter egg hunt) he surrounded himself with tiny speakers, bashed his keyboard, and hooted and hollered. These tracks and video may give you some indication of the happiness I felt at being part of all this.

MP3s:

I’m Not The Kind Of Woman

Meat Is Murder

SECRETLY ALL I LISTEN TO IS NEW JACK SWING. TRUE.

At times I feel like this blog is mainly a fan site for three or four artists, but sometimes a guy just wants to update about his favorite dudes and dudettes. Maybe this will all change when I hit puberty, I don’t know. For now though, here’s a bunch of rare Nero’s Day At Disneyland songs I just discovered. A few have been released on compilations, but a good chunk of them are just random tracks that I guess were either posted on his Space or just floated through the ether and into the world. I’m not a man of explanations; sorry about this.

Download: Rare Nero’s Day At Disneyland Tracks

INTERVIEW: ALPHABETS

Colin Ward is probably the coolest guy in music right now. I first caught word of his killer project alphabets from a German friend of mine, and I’ve been hooked ever since. Not only are these tunes massively catchy, Colin gives them away for free download on his Space every month or two. In terms of things like ‘being a grown up’, well sorry dude, this beefy bro is just a kid. But hey, it’s a kid’s world and kids gotta have fun! If you like things like fun, take a good hard look at this Denver dynamo as we shoot questions at each others faces.

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